The University is proud to offer rock bottom prices on education. While we don't have a basement to any of our buildings (floods), we sure do like to say we are the "Bargain Basement" of educational facilities. 

How do we offer such amazing courses (ie- Philosophy of Real Estate, taught by Prof. Eugene Mortimer Fitstuffins Jr.)? 

Most of our courses are paid for in kind.  Prof. Fitstuffins has an array of small homes, books, and trinkets that have been given to him over his many months of teaching by his students in order to offset his costs. He also has a wife that is independently wealthy. This certainly helps keep costs low, too. 

What is the average price of a course? How much is it, say, for two semesters at The U of CT?

Honestly, great question. At the UoCT, we like to call semesters "buckets of learnin.'" A first year first bucket will run you about 14 drumsticks (if fresh) or a hectare of standard sweet corn. If you prefer to trade in futures of yellow dent, we require an in kind deposit of 10 percent hectare's yield and a 2 year 140 percent commitment.  If you have blight on the mind (Smut mouth), we can have our institutional agrarian actuaries work together with you and your wife or eldest son to come up with a bucket prepayment system or state-state maize or drumstick arbitrage arrangement (depending).  

How many buckets until I am fit for market?

Seriously good questions here. Usually our students require three to four buckets prior to bein' fit for market. 

And if my student is not market ready? 

We will find him a suitable market. We have never not found a market. 

Is it recommended to have an independently wealthy wife?

Nearly three for three on good questions. While it is not required to be married into wealth, finding an elderly patron or a kind community to take you in and support your financial needs is generally good practice. 

Where is your campus located?

On yonder.